Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Sam Burns leads US Open with 65 and avoids calamity at Oakmont - AP News

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I can count

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Is Obito Uchiha redeemable?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t buy bullshit

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

What are some common historical misconceptions?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Weight stigma isn’t just cruel — it makes losing weight harder - CNN

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Why did it take seven days for troops with helicopters, equipment, supplies, food, and water to be dispatched to southeast storm zones?

I see through liars

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

35 Father's Day Gifts To Just Give Yourself - BuzzFeed

I can read

I have complete contempt for fakery

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Redefining physics to roll a ball vertically - Phys.org

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Young Sheldon’s Montana Jordan Is Newly Married — See Wedding Photos Featuring Georgie & Mandy Cast - TVLine

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Kevin Durant Reportedly Would've Put Knicks on Top Landing Spots If NY Pursued Trade - Bleacher Report

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Isn't it a turn on to have sex with a girl in a skirt or in a tight spandex?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Dow Jones Futures Rise, Broadcom Falls After Tesla Crashes On Musk-Trump Feud - Investor's Business Daily

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Target says Philly Pride 365 rejected its sponsorship - Axios

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have a reading level above third grade

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I actually pay taxes

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand how hurricane paths work

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard